:Insert Inspirational Phrase Here:

The place where thoughts get thought out. Or something like that.

Thursday, February 17, 2005


Yeah, I'm working right now, kinda, so maybe I shouldn't be taking the time to post.

Screw it.

I've been working here in Germany for near two weeks now, and I think I've just started to adjust to working under yellow light. All the time. I know for sure that I've gotten used to getting dressed for the clean room. It doesn't even seem like a hassle anymore. I must say that I really love my job, though. The work is pretty much everything that I've wanted to do since I was a kid.

Except for that whole not flying combat jets thing. But I think I'm over that.

Anyways,I've got to thinking, and I wonder why is it that some people (wouldn't want to over-generalize here) can't seem to accept the behaivior of others. And no, I don't mean wondering why some people act like total jerks or complete assholes.

I'm wondering why some people can't just seem to accept that others really do care for them, and that they really, genuinely do have feelings for them. They're always waiting for something to go wrong, or for "the other shoe to drop", as someone close to me likes to say. I've seen this kind of suspicion throughout my life, and I could never really understand it.

Isn't it enough to say that I'll do nice things to make you happy? Does there HAVE to be some ulterior motive?

I guess there does, doesn't there? It can't really be something that's pure, anymore, something that doesn't look for an outside reason.

Maybe I can't be nice to everyone that I want to be nice to, just cause I want to make them happy. Maybe I'm not allowed to make anyone happy without some kind of benefit for myself, and some kind of loss for the person I'm trying to please.


If that's how it's going to be, so be it. If certain people expect me to have some kind of sinister plan in the making, some kind of diabolical scheme that requires me to USE and MANIPULATE others towards my own ends, then that's exactly what I'm going to do.

From now on, I'm only being nice to people to use them. I'm going to take advantage of them like they've never been taken advantage of EVER before.

I'm stealing their Magic Spirit Jellybeans.

So, here's how it goes: the one to control the Jellybeans controls ALL! (Yeah, you heard that right capital A L L, as in everything, all stuff and all the people that own that stuff... you get the picture.)
So, if you catch me being nice to you, in any way shape or form... and you have some sort of suspicion, or you just can't handle it (cause no one's just been nice to you before), it's because I'm REALLY stealing your Magic Spirit Jellybeans without you knowing it. You see, the only way that you can take Magic Spirit Jellybeans from another person is by being extraordinarily nice to them. It's the only way to steal them, and they lose their Magic if they're not stolen.

So there. That's my master plan.

Can we get on with our lives, and past the whole "you're nice to me cause you're using me" thing, now?

I'd better get back to work. Lasers don't align themselves... regardless of what people say.


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